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Whenever I do finally renew, though, it'll have to be before I say goodbye to this city, because If I ever do leave, I’m gonna motor away under my own power, listening to a kickass “I’m outta here” driving song.There's good news for people who use online dating as a primary way to meet people: you’re no longer considered sad and pathetic.

Take everyone but me out of the equation, and not having a licence is still a gut punch to the soul.

My last trip to Dallas I drove my cousin’s car and felt like I was 15 sneaking out the family ride, “does he know? ” clanging in my brain every time I passed a police car.

I don’t want to overstate the stress this caused me, but I will say that my subconscious has added “Driving Without A License” to my standard panic-dream roster of “Go To Grade School In Your Underwear” and “Oh By The Way, You Didn’t Actually Graduate College.” One mitigating factor in this otherwise wretched situation is that, apparently, other people are just as dumb as I am.

Because mine expired, I lost my passport too, and in order to get a new passport I had to prove my identity by sending, among other things, a photo of myself from an NY Post dating service called The Meet Market to the United States government.

Anyway, the driving test is a b___ to schedule and the proctors are very strict.

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